He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
