At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
