So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
