don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
