This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
