I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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