Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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