In the future we'll all be gay
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
sex in a hospital.. check
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
