Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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