Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
