I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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