The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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