Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
