I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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