After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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