I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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