My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
