Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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