forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
