youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
