Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Watching her eat just hurts me
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
