So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
