Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
