Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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