Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
