Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
