I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
