no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
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