i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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