I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
