Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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