i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
