well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
