There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
