he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Acid is not a monday night drug
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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