Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
