so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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