I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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