My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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