Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
