She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
