A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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