put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just gift wrapped bread.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
