dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
