So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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