Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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