he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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