I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
