it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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