I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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