The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
