My hand turned me down
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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