those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
