I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize