Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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