yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
