your room smells of hookers.
And success
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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