my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
We need to rekindle our bromance
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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